Book Club: The Cast Chapters 13-15

house

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club!  We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2, Chapters 3-4Chapters 5-6, Chapters 7-8,  Chapters 9-10, and Chapters 11-12!  Read participant reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book.  Caution, spoilers below!

Week 7: Chapters 13, 14, and 15

By KM H.:

Chapter 13

This one is from Jordana’s POV. I can sympathize with Jordana a bit. All her planning for this weekend has basically gone to hell, and she’s just trying to do one thing according to plan with her friends. Lex gets confrontational with Nolan after too much wine, and Jordana tries to smooth things over, awkwardly, even telling Lex to back off. Everyone immediately gets on her case about defending shit-listed Nolan. She’s trying to remain sympathetic to him since he spilled his guts to her about his work problems but still remain supportive of Becca. Which, of course, is a difficult thing to do.

Jordana tells Becca about how deeply she was affected by Becca’s cancer. She tells her that, seeing her go through all that, had very real ramifications in her life—like taking her kids to the pediatrician all the time and how, when she was younger, she had to check everything multiple times before leaving the house.

And, of course, Jordana and Becca notice that Seth and Lex are making heart eyes at each other. This, naturally, causes some concern. Then Seth’s girlfriend crashes the party, gets mad a Seth (rightfully), and leaves (I would too, girl).

The bit about Jordana’s vicarious trauma at the hands of Becca’s cancer stands out to me the most in this chapter. I don’t often see a lot about how siblings and others handle the cancer of a loved one, especially someone young, so it was nice to have that acknowledged.

Chapter 14

This chapter is from Seth’s POV, and we get to see him coming to terms with his budding feelings for Lex, which is of course is awkward ‘cause, well … Seth, sweetie, Lex is married and you should find someone else to pine after.

So, basically, Seth and Lex make a fire (‘cause they’re both feeling the sparks of looove, I imagine), do a lot of flirting while reminiscing about childhood experiences, and then things kind of get real when Lex starts talking about how Seth has failed at a bunch of stuff. Messed up, done the wrong thing, but things have turned out okay for him. It’s basically her way of consenting to the relationship via subtext, even though she knows it’s going to make a big mess of things in her life. After an unfortunate event involving a lot smacking Lex in the head and Seth coming to the rescue with tweezers, Lex drops the subtext and confesses that she needs Seth—and she doesn’t mean his splinter-extracting skills.

Then we get some info about how Lex is not happy in her marriage, it’s all a mess, she ain’t gettin’ any, that sort of thing. Lex feels inspired to jump off the cliff and hope fate catches her because Becca has taught her that life is short so she should live a little.

Okay. So. I’m a little bit leery of when people use me as an inspiration to do … well, anything. I’m not particularly upset by the whole cheating storyline in the book or anything, but I just sort of put myself into Becca’s shoes. Would I be okay with a friend using my near-death experience with cancer as an inspiration for doing something questionable, like starting an affair?

Um, no. No, I would not. I don’t want to be the object lesson that a friend twists into an excuse for doing something like this. Like, sure—go ahead. Have your affair. But own your own bad life choices and leave me out of it, thank you very much. 🙂

Chapter 15

We’re back to Becca’s POV in this chapter, and the chapter opens with Becca spotting Lex and Seth coming into the house in each other’s arms. She’s realized that the flirting she saw in chapter 14 wasn’t just idle chatter, but something real, and immediately she’s worried about the group and how their relationship will change things.

Still-on-the-shit-list-Nolan is with Becca and sees all this as well. He immediately confronts Seth about his new relationship, reminding Seth of the obvious—that Lex is married. Seth fires back that Nolan isn’t one to talk and things get a little physical.

Becca tries to calm still-yet-more-on-the-shit-list Nolan down, even though she agrees with Seth and his assessment that Nolan is a grade-A asshole.

But the thing is, she’s got this massive diagnosis, and she honestly doesn’t want a divorce. She wants her marriage to work, and she’s definitely feeling some needless guilt for having gotten cancer. Again.

She confesses that she’s scheduled the mastectomy and reconstruction, thinking that she can cancel the reconstruction if she chooses to do so later. And, of course, eternally-on-the-shit-list-Nolan bungles the whole thing, telling her that he knew she was “too smart to give up the chance to look like a woman.”

Asshole.

Naturally, that comment goes over like a ton of bricks and they argue. Holly interrupts, thank goodness, and the chapter concludes with Becca reminiscing about the birth of her child via surrogate.

To say that Nolan is a problematic character is an understatement, but at the same time, he’s very representative of some of the arguments and issues I’ve heard breast cancer friends go through. He’s very biological-essentialist, like much of our society, and it’s gross. Breasts do not equal womanhood. You do not need boobs in order to be a woman. And from the way he talks, he values these fluffy sacks of fat and mammary tissue more than he does his wife and his marriage.

This is also why I have issues with breast cancer awareness campaigns that try to use cutesy marketing all about saving boobs. Like, seriously. BOOBS ARE OVERRATED. Why can’t we value the lives of the people we’re saving, not these non-essential bits of anatomy? Nolan and campaigns like these embody the way that our culture values the sexual parts of our bodies, but not the person that lives inside that body.

In our next blog post, look for the comments and discussion on chapters 16, 17, and 18!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us! Excited about the young adult cancer book club? Have any suggestions for future reads? Let us know!

Book Club: The Cast, Online Discussion!

meeting on zoom with coffee

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club!  We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2, Chapters 3-4Chapters 5-6, Chapters 7-8, Chapters 9-10, and Chapters 11-12!  Read participant reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book.

It’s time for our Young Adult Cancer Book Club Online Discussion!

After having read through the entire book together, it is time to get together and discuss!  Plus, this time around we are extremely lucky to have the author joining us!

Who: young adult cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers along with the author, Amy Blumenfeld!

When: Monday, October 26th @ 5-6 pm PT / 7-8 pm CT / 8-9 pm ET via video chat.

How does it work? You’ll receive the zoom link to join the online discussion in your inbox if you’re signed up to receive notifications about the book club.  If you haven’t already done so, click the link below, and under “programs you’re interested in,” choose ‘book club’ to be notified with the link for the video chat. Lacuna Loft will send you an email a few days before the workshop with information on how to join. ***You’ll need the link that we’ll provide you, a headset with a microphone, and a webcam.***

Join in next Monday for the young adult cancer book club online discussion!

Click here to sign up to be notified with the info you need to join the book club discussion.  Go under ‘Programs you’re interested in. and choose ‘book club’’ (Feel free to choose to be notified when other programs are announced too!)


We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Make Beaded Coasters With Mary Clare

Join Lacuna Loft for our next online Creative Art Workshop: Bead Coasters and #LetsMakeStuff together!  Find your zen while crafting a bead coaster in this meditative (in technique) craft!  Make a beautiful coaster all while hanging out with other young adult cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers.  We’ll send you what you need! Mary Clare will teach and lead you through the method!

Who: 20 young adult cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers.

When: Thursday, October 22nd @ 5-7 pm PT / 7-9 pm CT / 8-10 pm ET via video chat.* (*US time zones…please double check when to participate where you live!)

How does it work? We’ll send you all of the materials you need to participate! Lacuna Loft will send you an email about a week before the workshop with information on how to join the video chat. ***You’ll need the link that we’ll provide you, a headset with a microphone, and a webcam.***

Click here to sign up to be notified when this program is announced by choosing it under ‘Programs you’re interested in.’ (Feel free to choose to be notified when other programs are announced too!)

Book Club: The Cast Chapters 11-12

woman driving car

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club!  We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2, Chapters 3-4Chapters 5-6, Chapters 7-8, and Chapters 9-10!  Read participant reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book.  Caution, spoilers below!

Week 6: Chapters 11 and 12

By KM H.:

Chapter 11: Holly

I think Holly is one of the most even-keeled characters in this bunch. In this chapter, Holly’s husband, Adam, discovers that Holly made a baby registry when the store calls to recover their price gun that Holly accidentally took with her. This is a potential tension point because Holly and Adam’s practice as Orthodox Jews includes a taboo against gift-giving to unborn children. Adam and Holly don’t discuss it right away, so we don’t get to know how they worked it out.

What we do see is Becca coming in and helping Holly return the price gun, and act that leads to all sorts of internal debate for Holly, because it’s Shabbos and she is deeply observant. In the end, she decides to go with Becca to the store and return the item, even though it’s Shabbos and she shouldn’t be riding in a car. She goes because she wants to help Becca, who seems to need to get out of the house right then.

I really enjoyed this chapter and being in Holly’s head. I especially liked how Holly questions and wonders about her religious practice and how she wants to raise her unborn child. She’s walking a delicate line, wanting to remain Orthodox but debating what’s best for her and her family now. I think what I liked most about this whole internal debate or the acknowledgment that people change, and that what works well for someone in one part of their life might not work later—and that’s okay. I also really, really appreciated that she bent her religious custom to help a friend in need. Overall, I found Holly and Adam to be two of the most heartwarming characters throughout this novel. 🙂

Chapter 12: Nolan

At this point, I am firmly in the “Nolan is a highly divorce-able douche nozzle” camp. The chapter opens with his mom, the only reasonable person in his family of origin, prodding him out of bed to go make-up with Becca. Then we get treated to Nolan’s mental pity party (eg “They’re probably calling to disown me.” And “Why should I apologize for speaking my mind.”) as he deals with (deserved) issues with his law firm and (undeserved) affection from his daughter. Eventually, he decides to head to the reunion to be with Becca and try to keep his family together—he knows divorce is on the table—but at this point, he’s still convinced that he’s right about Becca’s need for boobs.

His reception at the reunion is a bit cold. From there, he gets some alone time with Becca and instead of working things out, they talk about Emma’s birth. Then Nolan and Seth argue, and Nolan spills his guts about his work troubles to Jordana at the end of the chapter.

I kept waiting to hear Nolan really argue his case about the reconstruction—whether that happens through inner monologue or in conversation with someone else. Unfortunately, Nolan is a master at avoidance and self-pity, and even at the end of the chapter, he’s mentally pleading with Becca to admit she overreacted so they can enjoy the weekend. Ugh.

Conclusion: Nolan is still a douchebag.

By Jessica K.:

Chapter 11: Holly

In chapter 11, we get a glimpse inside Holly’s daily rituals as an observant Jewish woman. We also see how her daily routine is upended by her response to Becca’s cancer diagnosis. She forgets to turn off her phone for Shabbat, forgoes the rules and drives with Bec in a car, etc. She also commits to a secret pact made with her other friends to “distract [Bec and] lift her spirits].”

This chapter reminded me of how my own cancer diagnosis affected the lives of everyone around me. On a macro level, everyone had to grapple with the fact that my life was in jeopardy. On a micro level, they did the same thing as Bec’s friends and made concerted efforts to lift my spirits. I appreciated their efforts but also felt weird about it. I was processing my own breast cancer diagnosis but also dealing with everyone else’s emotional responses. I didn’t want anyone else to worry, so I always put on a brave face.  I really like how this book is so realistic.  It is obvious from reading that the author has also been through what we’ve all been through.

Chapter 12: Nolan

This chapter is all about how Becca’s husband, Nolan, processes the news of her breast cancer and how her childhood BFFs come to her defense when he inappropriately pressures her into having reconstructive surgery after her bilateral mastectomy.  This chapter really highlights the spectrum of responses you get from friends and family when they find out about your cancer.  Generally, I try to be understanding toward others, but it is hard for me to sympathize with Nolan here.  As a breast cancer survivor and a divorce attorney, I know far too many stories about the women who received life-threatening diagnoses and the men who could not handle their wife’s cancer.

Here, Nolan is keeping secrets about his job, running away to his mom’s house, and showing up late to the party celebrating his wife’s remission.  To me (admittedly not an objective observer), his response is not appropriate. But, neither is it unexpected.  Cancer sucks and it takes a toll on everyone around you in different ways.

By Sarah H:

Chapter 11 was written from the view of Holly. This chapter talks about being authentic and being yourself. The story is around a scanner gun that Holly accidentally stole and the need to return it even though it was a Saturday and as an Orthodox Jewish person she should not be going out. Holly decides as a good friend she needs to help distract Becca and broke the rules for the first time in over 20 years.  This chapter reminded me of my friend Nancy and how she will often pick me up to go shopping at Walmart as a distraction. Sometimes she will drop everything to step up and distract me as Holly did with her religious beliefs.

Chapter 12 was written from the viewpoint of Nolan and is his perspective following the previous fight with Becca. The chapter shows the effect that a diagnosis and big decisions have on everyone in the family and friendships. It also updated us that he might be about to lose his job and possibly be sued. It is a chapter of stress and turmoil from the characters’ perspective. While trying to protect others he is distancing himself.  While reading this chapter I could physically feel the stress that was happening. It gave me a chance to step back and think of some of the situations people I love have been through with my diagnosis. How people have kept important life things from me out of love and not wanting to “burden” me with more. Also, it made me think of some of the fights I have had and question what else was going on during those times.

In our next blog post, look for the comments and discussion on chapters 13-14!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Book Club: The Cast Chapters 9-10

people talking in circle

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club!  We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2, Chapters 3-4, Chapters 5-6, and Chapters 7-8!  Read participant reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book.  Caution, spoilers below!

Week 5: Chapters 9 and 10

By Marie-Elyse B.:
Chapter 9: Becca

In this chapter, we see Becca having to face telling the people she loves, her best friends, of her new cancer. As a Hodgkin’s Lymphoma survivor, this is something that really struck home. Despite being careful, healthy, and on top of things with my checkups, that possibility of having a new cancer is very real, and so is having to talk about it to my family and close loved ones. In this chapter, you have a full range of reactions. Her husband acts very selfishly in the previous chapters, her friends Holly and Adam turn directly to faith and religion, publicly and without much of her consent, Lex is angry, Seth turns everything into humor, and Jordana, her best friend, turns into a bit of an overbearing person. This represents what every survivor has to face when dealing with explaining cancer. It can be hard at times to forgive or understand people that aren’t acting rationally towards the whole situation or even having to comfort other people despite being the one sick. Something else that really struck me in this chapter is Jordana explaining the grief of losing something. Losing your old self, security, innocence, etc., is something I never thought about before having cancer. The possibility that people around me had to grieve for something else than death, gives me a lot of perspective now on their actions during my illness.

Chapter 10: Seth

In chapter nine, Seth and Lex, and later Holly, have a deep conversation about everything that happens during dinner, and in their past. You first see Seth debating which side to be on, either his long-time friend Becca or his new friend her husband. He’s also debating how and what to tell Becca about the favor her husband asks of him. It’s really interesting to see this conversation happening as a patient because we don’t necessarily understand the choices people around us have to make, especially in how open they want to be, while we are sick and stuck with our own choices (treatment plans, etc). Lex makes an interesting point talking about curveballs. I think all of us experience them at some point, things that make you question everything you do and the way to live your life. As a young adult with cancer, it is easy to see how our near-death experience changes things in our actions and our way of thinking. In the book, however, we also see that our illnesses also affect everyone around us and throw them curveballs as well, and calling for changes, albeit in a slightly different way.

By Jessica B.:

Chapter 9: Becca

In this chapter, Becca deals with the aftermath of her friends learning about her new diagnosis. She recalls a conversation with her daughter where she was asked for assurance that she was going to be okay, but wasn’t able to make that promise. Becca realizes that she is once again in a situation where people are going to be looking for her to say that everything is going to be okay, but she doesn’t know if she can say that. This is a scenario almost every cancer survivor can relate to. You’re dealing with devastating news and yet the people around you are still looking to you for assurance that everything is going to be okay. It’s a tough place to be in. Becca is also dealing with the ongoing conflict with Nolan. She has not heard from her husband since their fight and doesn’t even know where he is. This causes a mix of reactions from her friends. Some are furious with him, but others are more sympathetic. Seth thinks Nolan just needs to be whipped into shape. Jordana thinks that the group of friends needs to realize that they have a degree of privilege. They have already been through everything with Becca once. They have an idea of what to expect, but Nolan is being thrown into the world of cancer for the first time, and perhaps he deserves some slack and some time to figure out how to deal with the situation. I think Jordana makes a fair point. Everyone reacts to a cancer diagnosis differently, and family and friends of survivors are no different. Some will be angry, some will be devastated, some will want to focus on getting through to the other side…and some will want to bail. Nolan needs to figure out which of those paths he’s going to take.

Chapter 10: Seth

In this chapter, Seth is spending some time with Lex while they process the news they received at dinner. Seth is in a bit of a tough spot because he has become friends with Nolan as well as Becca, so he wants to give Nolan the benefit of the doubt, but Lex does not feel the same way. Lex is having marital problems, which is causing Seth to think thoughts about Lex that perhaps he shouldn’t be thinking. At the same time, he’s dealing with Nolan asking for recommendations for a plastic surgeon who can give a second opinion on Becca’s case, and wanting to be a good friend for Becca. From my perspective, Seth is handling the situation the best he can, and maybe in the best position to give Nolan the swift kick in the pants he needs to become the support Becca needs. This chapter doesn’t focus as heavily on Becca’s diagnosis as the previous chapter, but I think it illustrates that even when someone gets cancer, life goes on. Other things happen. In this case, Seth is flirting with a married woman, which isn’t the greatest idea, but it does show he has other things on his mind besides being stuck thinking about his friend. At the end of the chapter, Seth and Becca settle in to watch a late-night showing of National Lampoon’s Vacation, because sometimes, just sitting with a friend to watch an old favorite is just what you need.

By Shannon G:

Chapter 9: Becca

This chapter hit home for me on so many levels. It opens with Becca missing her daughter, Emma. Becca recalls how she told Emma about her birth story, which is surrogacy due to her infertility issues related to cancer. Becca mentioned how some of the most intimate conversations happen in the bathroom and I think many moms can relate to this sentiment. Remembering how she was open about surrogacy; she began to think about how she told Emma about her cancer. Emma was 6 years old and they were in the bathroom. There was this tender moment where Emma asks her mom to promise she will not get cancer again. Becca is frozen with the fear she labels “my worst nightmare was dying young and leaving her,” so she promised. I can relate to this directly. I was diagnosed when my baby was going into Kindergarten. I have had so many conversations with God where this same nightmare is my plea…to not leave him. As Becca is making this promise that she knows she cannot possibly keep, Emma asks for a snack. I giggled at this because I remember having these life-changing, epic mind battles of life and death in my head, while my son was asking for grapes or if he could play matchbox cars on my legs.

Becca finally tells Jordana, which of course Jordana will take as an insult to be told last. However, it is often the people we care for the most that are the most difficult to have these conversations with. The part of the chapter that really affected me though was Becca’s reaction over not wanting reconstruction. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34, a single mom who had just purchased my first home (1 week prior to my diagnosis), I had the exact same reaction. I “just kept thinking – more operations, more pain, more risks of infection, more days to keep me away from” my kids. As Becca states, “and for what? Breasts?”. These were my exact thoughts and to this day I have not undergone reconstruction. I wanted to get it out of my body and move on, live life, and not spend one more day in a bed than I needed to. I do not say this to judge anyone who does immediate reconstruction. Overall, it is a very personal and intimate decision and the discussion between Becca and Nolan shows that.

One of my favorite quotes from this chapter is, “I suspect there will be days when I feel confident and days when I look at myself and think I’m some kind of botched science experiment.” This is exactly how I feel. She reiterates several times that she is the same person either way. Jordana then introduces the idea of checking your privilege before making a judgment on someone. In other words, we do not know the intimate details of someone’s experiences, fears, and thoughts; therefore, we should show grace to one another.

Chapter 10: Seth

The bulk of this chapter is Seth and Lex sharing chemistry. My favorite quote from Seth in this chapter is there is “something about hanging out with this group again that altered my chemistry.” I think we all have groups of people we have spent periods of time with, that when we are reunited after time, we are almost transformed back into the person we were. Those are truly the most treasured friendships….the ones where no contact can be made for years and you can just pick back up where you left off. Seth is dealing with two relationships in this chapter….Lex and Nolan. With Lex, they share some intimate details, discuss business, and have a general flirtation. There seems to be some fire between the two of them. However, what I kept thinking was they were two friends, holding space for one another. Sometimes it’s not about words or talking, but just having someone share a space in time with you. Seth is also struggling with his friendship with Nolan because he was Becca’s friend first. Lately, he has been training Nolan and they have developed a sort of bro code, but he is going back and forth on where his loyalty should lie. I will guess in future chapters we will see it lies with Becca. History is strong.

In our next blog post, look for the comments and discussion on chapters 11-12!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Book Club: The Cast Chapters 7-8

morose man on couch

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club! We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2, Chapters 3-4, Chapters 5-6!

Read our participants’ reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book! Caution, spoilers below!

Week 4: Chapters 7 and 8

By Coleen S.:

Chapter 7: Nolan

Nolan continues to behave poorly. He asks Becca’s friend to get involved by providing plastic surgery references, and we hear more about the mess he’s in at work, which he hasn’t told his wife about. I’m having trouble empathizing with him because he’s being such a jerk. He then decides to go home to his parents and brothers instead of going home to his wife. His mom tries to talk some sense into him, but we leave Nolan not knowing whether he is going to take her advice and drive to Becca or try to escape to somewhere else. I’m very disappointed that this is the support that Becca is getting.

Chapter 8: Jordana

I don’t understand why Becca has not told her best friend about her diagnosis yet. Jordana is understandably frustrated because she knows that something is going on, but not what. It’s interesting to watch this group of school friends come back together as adults. They don’t seem to know whether to behave like adults or like teenagers. Given that Jordana is supposedly happily married, I don’t really understand the feelings that she seems to have for Adam. But it’s fun to see both the present and hear about their past together. The final scenes, in which Jordana realizes that there is something amiss with Becca’s health are great. I love the way that the author reveals it through the prayers, something that tied the Cast together through their childhoods.

By Anmol D.:

Chapter 7: Nolan

It was easy to start chapter 7, angry and upset with Nolan. The big blowout of how he reacted to Becca’s concerns about the reconstruction part of surgery, placed him directly into the antagonist character. The introduction of his work problems makes you feel sorry for him a little but it also reminds you of how he thinks he is “protecting,” Becca, instead of telling her the truth. And then he runs away to his mom – that was annoying! I understand that he hadn’t dealt with her first diagnosis and this was his first time in such a situation but it definitely is going to take a lot to get him out of the dog house. He was acting like a coward and “supremely self-absorbed” in how he handled the situation, instead of being there to support his wife and trying to understand her viewpoint. His concern should have been with her health and not how he thought she should look like a “woman.” He was so focused on her physical appearance – asking Seth for a second opinion on a surgeon – that he didn’t take a moment to even think about the fact that his wife has cancer AGAIN. I thought, his mom’s reaction to how he handled things was wonderful – he deserved that whack on the arm!

Chapter 8: Jordana

As someone with OCD, I totally understood where Jordana was coming from when a wrench was thrown into the weekend plans because she didn’t even know if Becca, the guest of honor, was coming. It was interesting to be introduced to the high school-esque drama between Holly, Adam, and Jordana. Especially the way Holly responded to the scene in the basement and the way Jordana eavesdropped on their conversation, through the vents. It was hard not to feel for her, even though she is in a loving marriage, when Adam, her first love, said that he “never loved [Jordana].” Jordana’s fear of losing her best friend, the insecurity that comes with that, is so relatable. But I loved how she gave her self a pep talk to address that insecurity, even when she felt that she was out of the loop in her best friend’s life. It felt so raw and realistic. Sometimes we all can feel insecure in friendships and/or relationships. Especially after overhearing Adam and Holly’s conversation along with Adam and Holly’s prayers about Becca and her health. She is determined to get answers and be there for her friend, which is really all anyone can ask for in a friend.

By Melissa B:

In this chapter, Nolan decides against going to the “reunion” with his wife Becca and her friends. Instead, he goes to his parents’ house in New Jersey. I feel that Nolan is being incredibly selfish in this entire situation. Becca has the right to choose what she wants to do with her body and he should be supportive of whatever decision she makes. I think he had a little heart to heart with his mom. Mom sides with Becca and tries to convince him to take her car to go be with Becca, stating that she needs him right now. Most of the time motherly advice is the best!!Chapter 8: Jordana

In this chapter, Jordana is upset with Becca and Nolan for not being able to attend the reunion. I feel that Jordana gets way too stressed out about things she can not control. Becca calls Jordana and states she is coming. Jordana was upset that Becca was riding up with Holly and she felt as though Becca blew her off. Jordana should just be happy that Becca is even going. Meanwhile, Jordana gets to reunite with her old boyfriend Adam and has a little alone time with him before Holly and Becca arrive. Of course, nothing happened however Holly was very upset when she arrived at the house. Becca is finally getting ready to tell Jordana the “news” when they were interrupted by Adam. Jordana also overhears Adam praying for Becca and before dinner, Holly prays for Becca as well. Jordana is definitely on to something and feels left out that she has not been informed of anything with Becca’s health. At this point in the story I’m not sure if Becca has informed Holly and Adam of her recent cancer diagnosis. They could be praying for her just because she has had cancer in the past. These prayers could just be prayers for keeping her healthy. I feel like Jordana just has to chill out, go with the flow, and stop all the drama.

In our next blog post, look for the comments and discussion on chapters 9-10!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Book Club: The Cast Chapters 5-6

people walking at sunset

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club! We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2, Chapters 3-4!

Read our participants’ reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book! Caution, spoilers below!

Week 3: Chapters 5 and 6

By Sonia Su:

I should note that this is my first time reading a fiction book about cancer, and so far, while I am enjoying it, there are certainly parts that hit a little too close to home—being just a little over a year out of treatment myself. Yet, especially given that author Amy Blumenfeld is herself a pediatric cancer survivor and bases much of this book on her own experiences and master’s project research into survivorship, this is definitely worth reading.

Becca is a wife to husband Nolan and mother to a seven-year-old daughter named Emma. She has an incredible group of friends that I could only dream of having. They have been inseparable since age three, and when Becca was in the hospital in ninth grade, her friends gifted her a home movie on a VHS cassette of themselves performing Becca Night Live. As noted on the back cover: “The show’s running time was only ninety minutes, but it had a lasting impact: Becca laughed her way through recovery, and the group—Jordana, Seth, Holly, and Lex—became her supporting cast for life.” But then the events that unfold in chapter five read like a cancer patient’s worst nightmare.

After 25 years of being in remission, Becca is diagnosed with breast cancer, likely due to the experimental high-dose radiation from childhood. Not surprisingly, however, she exhibits no fear regarding the plan to remove her breasts: “I’m one hundred percent comfortable with the mastectomy. It’s what I have to do, and I have no qualms about it” (75). The issue becomes more about reconstruction and its risks, all for—as she questions—cosmetic purposes. Here, it was as if I were reading my own thoughts regarding fertility treatments last year. As a young adult cancer patient, no one bothered to inform me about fertility preservation until I had relapsed and was on track for a stem cell transplant. But at that point, I felt exactly as Becca felt: I was sick of all the medical procedures and sick of being a patient. For me, the thought of injecting myself daily for a week before going under to have my eggs sucked out of me was the last thing I wanted to do right before a transplant. (FYI: I ended up relapsing again before the
transplant, so that was canceled and I had to do CAR-T instead). Suffice to say, I support Becca.

Now, this nightmare isn’t over. Throughout this initial visit, Nolan is by her side—at least, physically. Mentally, it seems that he and Becca are worlds apart. While alone, they fight in the doctor’s office over Becca’s serious consideration to refuse a boob job.  Becca asks if Nolan would actually divorce her for having no chest, to which Nolan responds, “I don’t know.” Right
before the doctor returns, they fling some final insults at each other before Nolan leaves. In the next chapter, Becca spends time with her friend Holly, ultimately confiding in her about the diagnosis, while leaving out the details of her fight with Nolan. Each chapter is written from one character’s point of view, so reading how Holly knew when to give Becca space and when to push for what was bothering her reinforced their strong bonds.

Ultimately, the scenarios presented in these two chapters make me wonder how my future will play out. I don’t mean the worst-case scenarios, but rather all the possibilities. Much like we don’t know yet what will happen to Becca and Nolan—hey, Nolan could finally come to his senses—who knows what will happen in the post-cancer phase? I feel lucky to wake up every day next to my husband. I feel lucky that I’m able to do what I love. Despite all the terrible things my loved ones and I have had to go through, I definitely cherish what I have now, one day at a time.

In our next blog post, look for the comments and discussion on chapters 7-8!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Book Club: The Cast Chapters 3-4

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club! We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!  Catch up on Chapters 1-2.

Read our participants’ reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book! Caution, spoilers below!

Week 2: Chapters 3 and 4

By Marie K:

Chapter 2 – Nolan

We are still so early in the book and there has been an allusion to a big secret that Becca, our main character, has, and one that her husband, Nolan, has as well. Honestly, my mind immediately went to one of them (most likely Nolan) having an affair. I think it’s because I found the writing style and maybe type of fiction book very similar to Maeve Binchy, Liane Moriarty, or Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney. It was very difficult for me to read this book in order and not skip around to read each character’s story all at
once.

Anyways, did I get an answer in Chapter 2? This chapter is told from Nolan’s perspective and gives a little history about his and Becca’s relationship and how he related (or didn’t) to Becca’s cancer journey as a teen. We also hear about Nolan’s first time speaking with Becca’s closest friend, Jordana, and his initial take on the video (Becca Night Live) that her friends had made her while she was in isolation in the hospital. (Did this book give anyone flashbacks to your own time in isolation, whether for treatment or for this COVID-19 pandemic? Very relevant.)

Back to Nolan… We see a little of his character in this chapter and can see that he uses humor a lot to get him through a stressful or confusing moment but also, he’s not always very good at expressing himself (which definitely becomes a big issue later). The big reveal (at least to Nolan) is that Becca had Hodgkin’s lymphoma as a teenager. He seems to take the news in stride and even (very prematurely) blurts out that he’s ok with him and Becca adopting children if she can’t have her own. (And this is their
first date!!!) He and Becca watch the video from “The Cast” and twenty years later, in the present, Nolan and Becca are planning to attend a 20-year reunion with the cast and their significant others.

Interestingly, and I think this is why I was a little confused until much later in the book because I thought this chapter was present tense but maybe it’s Nolan’s recollection after the reunion, there is foreshadowing about Nolan recording a video for the Cast reunion and how he hopes it will help regain his wife’s trust. Bring on the drama?

Chapter 3 – Jordana

Next up is the preparation for the reunion from Jordana’s perspective. She has done A LOT of work planning and trying to make everything perfect. From the color-coded “to-do list”, and her own admission, we know that Jordana is an uber-organized person (possibly to the point of being OCD, I think). Jordana’s got everything in place, including some auntie time with Emma, Becca and Nolan’s daughter to create a collage of family photos, and then Becca drops a bomb: “Something came up. Change of plans. Can’t go tomorrow.” Jordana freaks out, showing us a little how much she needs to be in control. This also seems to trigger a recollection of her perspective of seeing Becca in the hospital. We see how important Becca is to her and we get a glimpse of how hard it is seeing a loved one so ill. Her reaction seems very real – she’s angry and sad and scared and accuses the universe “It’s not fair.” I’m sure all of us can relate a little to that. Being a caregiver is so difficult and even though Jordana was too young to really be called that, she and her friends played an important role in Becca’s journey and helping her deal with the trauma of her illness. Jordana tries connecting with Becca again but doesn’t get any answers, which makes her anxious.

Chapter 4 – Seth

I admit, at this point, I really needed to know what was going on so I read ahead and had to come back to read this chapter. So, Seth is the lone male in The Cast and we meet him for the first time as he’s parked illegally at the airport to pick up Lex (another member of the Cast) and her husband, Jack. He doesn’t recognize Lex but thinks to himself several times how attractive she is. She has arrived without Jack and, as she and Seth drive to the reunion, she makes several little comments that indicate she is not happy with Jack. She, however, appears completely in love with her kids and says she has never left them before. (This is a characteristic I absolutely can’t identify with and hearing parents say their life is their children makes me a little crazy. But, when I think about it, this means the author is really trying to create characters that feel like people you could actually meet.)

In terms of Seth’s character, we hear a little of his backstory through Lex’s mention of his parents and their obsession with their (and his) weight, his dropping out of college, his sense of humor in his childhood (there is a reference to crank calls he made – who didn’t?). Seth reflects on how he eventually ended up finding his path (“getting his shit together on his own timeframe”) and becoming a physical therapist. There is a brief mention of Seth being Nolan’s physical therapist and we see a text from him to set about referral for a surgeon, even though, as we learn from Lex’s great memory, Nolan’s broken collarbone was repaired months before. (The text message is more foreshadowing and seems to be a little out of place in the timeline. I think though that the book skips back in forth in time a little bit between characters, ie. each chapter isn’t a linear continuation of the last one). Lex seemed to be leading the discussion of Seth’s past a little as they drive as if she’s trying to figure out how to find her own path. She seems to be at ease away from home in Chicago and says a couple of times that she’s glad to be home. (Did I mention: more foreshadowing? It’s all building up to the reunion weekend!)

And, just in case you haven’t gotten there yet: good news! Becca’s “big secret” is going to be revealed in the next chapter!

By Alyssa G:

Chapter 3

This chapter is written from the perspective of Jordana. We get to see more of Becca and Jordana’s relationship. Jordana babysits Emma while Becca and Nolan go do something, but we don’t find out what it is they did. Whatever it was they were doing, I don’t think it was a fun date. Later in the chapter, Becca tells Jordana that she won’t make it to the reunion on Saturday. She’s pretty vague on the reason why. Jordana thinks she wouldn’t flake unless it was something serious. Did her cancer come back?

Possibly. That would be reason enough to miss the reunion. Jordana gets very upset that Becca won’t make it. After all, Jordana planned all of this for Becca. Since the book is set in New York I can visualize everything pretty well since I spent a lot of time there for treatment. There is mention that the hospital was on East 68th St. This jumped out at me because that’s where Sloan Kettering is and that’s where I had treatment so I could see myself in that place. I cannot wait to see how the next chapter goes!

Chapter 4

This chapter is set from Seth’s point of view. Seth is at the airport to pick up Lex. They will drive together to get to the party. Seth doesn’t recognize Lex since they haven’t seen each other in about 15 years. Lex now lives in Chicago with her husband. Her relationship with her husband seems strained. He didn’t come with her on this trip because he had a golf tournament. Seems pretty petty of him to miss the reunion. Seth and Lex catch up a little bit during their drive. They get so caught up that Seth gets pulled over for speeding. In this situation, Lex helps Seth get out of the ticket by talking to the cop about his hometown near Chicago. I definitely like in this part of the chapter how the Midwestern accent is written. After the cop lets them go, they continue talking and Lex says she is glad to be back home in New York. Later Seth gets a text from Nolan about a referral for surgery further leading to the assumption that Becca has cancer again. Seth tries to cover it up by saying Nolan needs surgery for a
broken collar bone, but will the issue arise at the reunion?

By Alexa J:

We reach chapter 3, which shares Becca’s best friend, Jordana’s, point of view. As best friends usually do, Jordana senses something is amiss. Nolan, Becca’s husband, requested Jordana babysit their daughter Emma for a reason not quite specified. Endearingly referred to as “Aunt Jojo”, Emma and Jordana look through photos to make a collage for Becca as a gift. While reflecting on the last several years of life through the lens of photographs, Jordana receives a call from Becca’s mom, Arlene, and after receiving a glowing review of the “girl’s day” they had together as told by Emma, Arlene informed Jordana that Becca and Nolan would not be returning to pick her up, and could she please pick Emma up. Jordana insisted that she needed to get a few things and that she would drop Emma off.

After Emma is reunited with her grandparents, we see part Jordana’s personality show. The well organized, color-coded to-do list, with many more tasks to accomplish, true to her “Type A” personality. A text comes in from Becca informing her that she wouldn’t be there on the first day the 4th of July weekend she had been tediously planning. I’ve heard it said anger is the bodyguard of hurt, and we see Jordana ride the waves of pain and confusion, disguised as anger and betrayal. Jordana ends the evening reflecting on the simpler days of childhood, with an overwhelming sense to pray like she did with her parents before bedtime. A prayer of “God bless our family and friends with health, happiness, and peace.” was mentioned, but I think the prayer of simple tears is just as valid.

In chapter 4, we visit with Becca’s friend Seth as he picks up a fellow “cast” member Lex at LaGuardia airport. It has been a long time since they reunited, and life has certainly changed. Marriage, families, careers, the typical grown-up stuff, Seth on the other hand is on a different path. Notorious for not settling down and dropping out of Princeton, (including some ribbing about it from Lex), Seth is now listening to Lex talk about her husband and children. Reunions and seeing where our long lost friends are on the path of life always makes me reflect on my own, and it’s no different here. Sharing memories, good and bad, and comparing lives, and a brief snafu with being pulled over, a text comes through from Nolan. It’s asking for a “surgical referral, ASAP.”, after some creative story remixing from Seth, he tells Lex, it’s just about Nolan’s old shoulder injury and not to think too much of it, while hiding his feelings of concern for the actual situation. Seth quickly changes the subject to dinner, and later at the restaurant states “I’m really glad you came home.” to Lex.

In our next blog post, look for the comments and discussion on chapters 5-6!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Book Club: The Cast Chapters 1-2

Welcome to the comments and discussion of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club! We are reading The Cast by Amy Blumenfeld!

Read our participants’ reactions and follow along with us each week as we read through the book! Caution, spoilers below!

Week 1: Chapters 1 and 2

By Xenia R:

Chapter 1: Becca

The book started with a scene that many can relate to – a school bus drop off and reconnecting with a munchkin at the end of their day.  Having spent most of my life working with kids I can relate to the idea of Emma wanting to watch either her parent’s wedding video or Becca Night Live. I found the interactions between Becca’s parents and her friends in the hospital room to be very authentic especially since this was the first time they left her in 7 weeks.

The reader could visual each moment that was described on the pages of her friends in the hospital room – how uncomfortable Jordana feels, how much Lex wanted to appear to be most attentive, how Becca felt she was missing out on Lex’s date, or Holly’s need to be the mother of the group.

Chapter 2: Nolan

This chapter switches to Becca’s husband and how they met in college and how he first experienced watching Becca Night Live. Becca shares with Nolan, very nonchalantly that she had cancer, which I find myself doing many times. You drop it into a conversation, hope for not a big response, and keep on moving. It is a part of you, a major part of you but it is not, most of the time, an individual’s most defining characteristic. And Nolan responded like 95% of the population citing ever person they knew who had cancer.

It was easy to transition to the present as the book did using the touchpoint of the video and the cast, citing how the majority had stayed friends, the last time they had all met up was at Becca and Nolan’s wedding, and seeing how Jordana had become the key organizer of the weekend.

The end of the chapter did provide a cliff hanger by letting the reader know that Nolan had hurt Becca and now we have to continue reading to find out how.

By Rachel C:

I am only a few chapters into this book, but I love the style in which it’s written. Each chapter is from a different character’s point of view. The book starts in the voice of Becca who is married to Nolan and has a daughter, Emma. Becca is a young adult cancer survivor (diagnosed in 9th grade) and her 25th-year cancerversary is approaching. When she was first said to be in remission, her friends, the “Cast”, made a sketchy comedy video for her called “Becca Night Live”. Her squad is a group that includes 4 other people – Jordana, Seth, Holly, and Lex. In the first chapter, Becca flashes back to that time when she’s in the hospital and her friends present her with this video. The second chapter is her husband Nolan’s point of view. He shares how they met in college and the beginning of their relationship.

A few things stuck out to me in the first few chapters.
– One of Becca’s biggest concerns in going through treatment was the loss of her hair. She explains how, as her hair had been rapidly thinning, one of her nurses kept encouraging her to shave her head. And that finally, the nurse came in and “held her ground” that the hair must be cut/shaved off, even though Becca protested. I did not lose all of my hair in my cancer treatment. But it fell out in clumps and thinned out considerably so I had to cut it into a short pixie cut for a while. I remember how difficult it was for me to cut off 12+ inches of hair. I couldn’t do it all at once. Every few weeks I had my hairdresser cut off a few inches so I could adjust to how short it was going to be. While reading through the chapter, my head kept going back to this section. I felt sad for Becca that cutting off her hair didn’t seem to be her idea or her choice. And the fact that she said she “dreaded hair loss more than death” had me hurting for her and that fact that it hadn’t been her own decision to shave off her head in treatment.
– Another thing that stuck out to me was how she talked about her friend Jordana. Jordana wasn’t just a friend and she was more than a sister. She said Jordana was like an extension of her and her family. I’m interested to see how Jordana’s character plays out in the story. Becca notices that something is ‘off’ with Jordana and also hints at Jordana being jealous or maybe even a slightly controlling person when it comes to Becca.
– And the final thing that stuck out to me was while Becca was in the hospital after watching Becca Night Live with her friends, she then watched it with her parents. A nurse walks in as they are watching it and she makes a comment about how Becca would probably be “friends for life”. As I thought about my own cancer journey and even my own life, looking back there were so many people I thought I’d be “friends for life” with..and yet we aren’t for various reasons. The book is based on a 25-year reunion celebration of Becca’s remission. I can’t wait to finish the book to see what happens with each character. The book says the 5 of them hadn’t been all together in one room for 13 years, when Becca and Nolan got married. I’m curious to see how the dynamics have changed with her friends.

By Sarah L:

Chapter 1

The first chapter is told from the point of view of Becca, a young woman who was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in ninth grade. While she was in the hospital her school friends made her a Saturday Night Live-style video (“Becca Night Live”) to cheer her up. In this chapter, Becca is in her late 30s, with a husband (Nolan) and young daughter (Emma), and they are getting ready for a reunion weekend with the cast of the video. We quickly learn, however, that Becca has received some bad news (hinted, though not confirmed, to be related to her cancer), and this affects her feelings about the upcoming reunion.

This first chapter covers a number of experiences that I am sure are familiar to many of us dealing with cancer: losing your hair (that weird moment of often physical relief as hair is shaved off, coupled with all of the emotions of seeing yourself bald for the first time); the isolation of being in hospital; the difficulty of watching your family struggle; the challenge of becoming dependent on others; and the blurring of boundaries with parents that often results. The theme I related to most strongly, however, was the ways in which cancer changes friendships. The different ways in which people show up (or not). The discomfort of feeling at times like a charity case. Wondering if things will ever become normal again. Missing out on the little things in other people’s lives – like first dates – as people balance wanting to support you with not knowing how much to share. This all resonated really strongly with me, and I appreciated the way in which the author discussed it honestly, without drowning Becca in either sorrow or pity.

Chapter 2

The second chapter is told from Nolan’s point of view and covers the early days of his relationship with Becca. From the first time they meet (on stage during senior week at Columbia) to their first date, and eventually back to the present day. Again, big news related to Becca’s cancer is hinted at but not revealed, and as I read this I actually had to skip ahead a few chapters to confirm what the news was because I realized it was making me really anxious. Perhaps this is a testament to the author’s skill, but the hints without knowing brought up strong feelings of scanxiety, and flashbacks to my own experiences of being called to unexpected appointments, knowing the news was probably not good, but not yet knowing what it was. I don’t want to give away future chapters here, however, so instead, I’ll focus on another key theme in this chapter that I found really interesting – the question of disclosure. When Becca and Nolan first meet, she is several years post-treatment, and he is initially unaware that she has had cancer. As they grow closer, however, she has to decide when to tell him about her illness, and because we see this moment through Nolan’s eyes we also see how and why he reacts the way he does. I really liked the author’s decision to show this moment from Nolan’s point of view rather than Becca’s. It told us a lot about Nolan’s character, and also removed all of the emotional sides that likely dominated Becca’s experience of the same moment, allowing us to see their relationship as something that existed, from the beginning, in a world of cancer, but without making cancer the dominant factor in either Becca’s life or their relationship together.

Join in next Monday for the comments and discussion on chapters 3-4!

We will talk about a few chapters each Monday until the book is done. If Monday happens to be a holiday, then the post will publish on Tuesday. Once we finish the book, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss. We’ll also have a video chat book club discussion at the end! Join in, in the comments every week! Also, there will probably be spoilers so read along with us!  Excited about the young adult cancer book club?  Have any suggestions for future reads?  Let us know!

Next Round Of The Young Adult Cancer Book Club!

stacked books

It’s time for another round of the Young Adult Cancer Book Club!  This next book club pick is Amy Blumenfeld’s book, The Cast.  We’re really excited to read this book together!  Lacuna Loft is busy getting the books ready to ship and are now taking sign-ups!  Snag one of the 29 free books that we send out to young adult cancer patients and survivors in exchange for sharing your commentary on one of the book’s chapters.

If you’d like a free book in exchange for sharing some commentary, sign up below.  We’ll be sending the books out in just a couple of weeks. The reading assignments (for what chapter we’d love your commentary on) will go out then too, and in July we’ll start reading altogether and sharing your commentary weekly.

Once this round of book club officially starts, there are several ways for you to be involved in the book club:

  • Read the book along with us and check out the Young Adult Voices blog each Monday, starting in July for the next book chapter’s installment!
  • If you get behind, check out this page for all of the posts for Round 10 of the book club.
  • If you’d like to contribute your comments about a chapter, email info@lacunaloft.org at least a few days ahead of the Monday when that chapter will be discussed, with your comments and a short bio of yourself.

Learn more about the author and young adult cancer survivor, Amy Blumenfeld, and her book here!