Today would have been my mother’s 60th birthday and my parents’ 38th wedding anniversary. I write about her on two different days each year: her birthday and wedding anniversary, and on the day that she died.
I’ve written a bit about missing my mom in the past, about various thoughts I have on death and dying, as well as end of life planning. I’ve written from the perspective of being her caregiver. Today, I have little to say…just a mixture of happy and sad feelings in my heart. I regularly think about giving her a call. It usually takes a few happy seconds before I realize I cannot do that.
This summer I am embarking on a journey with my father on the Pacific Crest Trail. This trek is so much about her, and so much about him, and so much about all of us. Death causes rifts. I feel like ours is just starting to heal, to scar over and adapt to the passage of time.